Operation: BABY
by Lil Cosmo
Summary: A new parenthood unit in health class has Wally and Kuki paired up.They find themselves stuck with a crying electronic baby who is getting on everyone’s nerves. But when a superficial villainess kidnaps ‘junior’, will the new ‘parents’ find a way to get
1. Default Chapter

**AN: Okay, in 7th grade I had this project in my health class where we had to pretend to be parents to a stupid doll. It was pretty dumb. I know in some schools, they have boy/girl partners take care of the babies.**

**There was my inspiration.**

**Loading Operation: BABY**

**Beginning of**

**A very**

**Bad school**

**Year**

"We're starting a new unit today, class," Ms. Heath drowned. "I'm going to partner y'all up in boy/girl groups."

A blond boy in the back row rolled his eyes. "This must be a really dumb project if we have to pair up with cruddy girls."

"Alright then," the teacher proceeded to pair up students. Finally she came to the blond boy. "Well well well, Mr. Beatles, who will you be partnered with?"

"Myself?" He said hopefully.

"Ms. Sanban! You're partnered with Mr. Beatles and will both share in the joy of parenthood."

The japenese girl giggled.

"Say what? Parenthood?" Wally stared at the teacher in shock.

"Obviously you haven't been paying attention. You and your partner will be taking care of an electronic baby. She or he will need feeding, changing, and sleeping as a real baby would need." She pulled a doll out from behind her desk and handed it to Kuki. "Congratulations on your new daughter."

**AN: Um, next chapter will be longer. This was just the intro.**


	2. where do babies come from?

**AN: If any of you have read the fic OPERATION: EGG, well, I swear I didn't steal that idea. I wrote this before I saw that fic (and plus the idea is different). Oh, if you haven't read it, do because it's awesome.**

**Alright, back to the fic.**

"Ooh, Wally, Rainy is going to be the prettiest girl ever, don't you think?" The Japanese girl squealed as she cradled the 'baby'.

He rolled his eyes. "Since when are we calling it Rainy?"

"Don't call her an 'it', she's sensitive. Aren't you, my little bundle of joy. What's wrong with the name 'Rainy'?"

"It's a doll! It doesn't need a name."

"Don't say stuff like that!" She scolded. "We are her parents; therefore we need to provide nurturing to our young and developing offspring,"

"Did you hear that off the Animal Planet or something? I got news for you. It's not a baby! It's a doll."

"Which reminds me of something," She cleared her throat and looked at Wally meaningfully. "Where do babies come from?"

Wally turned a deep crimson color. "Oh, er, well you know, when two people love each other very much, they, er, well you know, they, um . Well when they get married and stuff, and you know, they're in love, they sometimes, well, they . . ."

"What do they do?"

"Uh they, er, they, well they have a baby! That's all. You know what I mean?"

She giggled. "It's cute how you trip over your words."

He blushed again. The electronic baby shrieked. He glared at it. 'Stupid thing ruined a hallmark moment.'

"Aw, look! Rainy is hungry." Kuki pulled a toy bottle out of her backpack.

"How do you know?" Wally looked at her, amazed.

"Mother's intuition."

"You ain't a mom!"

"Daddy's gonna feed you, don't worry. Here." She handed the baby and the bottle over to Wally.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Feed her of course, silly."

He didn't bother to argue. He held the bottle awkwardly to the baby's mouth. "This is stupid," He grumbled.

The two were at the tree house in Numbuh 4's room. The others weren't back from school yet, so they didn't know there was a new addition.

"Since Numbuh 1 and Numbuh 5 are the oldest, they can be Rainy's grandparents."

"I doubt they would want to be known as its grandparents."

"You're right. Why didn't I think of it earlier? They're definitely going to be her aunt and uncle. Or godparents. What do you think?"

"I think the whole thing is stupid."

"Oh well, it really doesn't matter what you think. After all, you're only the dad."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, you know. The dads don't do anything except sit around in front of the TV watching football and drinking beer, or reading those nasty magazines. Everyone knows that the mom does all the real work."

"That's not true!"

"Oh really? Name one man who takes care of his child without his wife's help."

"Hmmm, let's see. Mr. Lincoln for one. And Mr. Uno."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about them. But still, you don't want to help raise our darling daughter."

At that moment, the rest of the team entered. "You two have a daughter?" Hoagie giggled. "I didn't think you guys liked each other that way."

Wally turned red. Kuki looked at him strangely.

"What way?" she asked, clueless.

**AN: I tried to make the chapter longer, but I don't this chapter was very good. Oh well, next chapter will be long and good (Maybe).**


	3. pre algebra

**AN: A short note (about the birds and the bees):**

**Wally did know, but he was too embarrassed to tell Kuki (hey, it's a very tender subject). And anyways, I want to keep this fic PG.**

Baby Rainy was screaming her electronic lungs out. Wally began to panic. "Why did she leave me alone with this thing?'' he moaned.

Kuki skipped into the room and stared at Wally angrily. "I leave you alone for two seconds, and this is what I find? My little angel with a soiled diaper and the dad doing nothing?" She picked the baby out of her partner's arms. "There there, Mommy will take the mess away."she pulled a diaper out of the diaper bag they had been assigned and quickly changed the diaper. "Can I trust you with her in your first class?"

"We have to take that thing to school?"

"What, did you think the treehouse was going to come alive and take care of her while we're gone?" she asked sarcastically.

"You're taking this way to seriously."

She sighed, then came up with an idea. "You know, not taking good care of the baby will automatically fail you for the semester." she said casually.

Wally's eyes widened, then picked up the baby. "Come on, love, time for school."

The two caught the bus and entered their seperate classes, Kuki to Science and Wally to Math. "You know, your mom may be a little uptight about you and she may be a little spacey, but she is . . ." He stopped talking. "I can't believe I'm talking to a doll!" He pulled his pre algebra textbook out of his locker and entered Mr. Stone's classroom.

"Hey Wally, why didn't you tell us you were pregnant?" A boy in the back row snickered.

"Shut yer face before I shut it for you." He threatened.

Immediatly the kid's smile wiped off his face. "Hey man, I didn't mean it."

"I hope you completed your homework, Mr. Beatles." Mr. Stone drowned in a slight monotone.

"Um, yeah of course I did," He stammered. "Only, well . . ."

"What excuse do you have this time, Wally? Believe me, the class is dying to know."

Part of the class looked at him in curious indifference. A few looked in pity. The majority looked at him with eager looks on their faces.

At that moment, Rainy let out an earsplitting scream.

Mr. Stone rubbed his temples. "Ms. Heath and that parenting project, curse you," He muttered. "Get it out of here!"

"But sir, it may take all class period to calm her down and, well, I was really looking forward to today's lesson."

"GO! I expect that homework tomorrow, Wallabee."

"Anything you say, sir." Numbuh 4 was unable to keep the grin off his face as he exited the classroom. He talked over the wails of the baby. "I'm so proud of you." He joked as he laughed at the fact that he had a key to getting out of class in the form of a baby doll.


	4. new jobs

It turned out it was Rainy's nap time, but Wally didn't find this out on his own. After celebrating his victory at getting out of pre algebra, he had paniced do to the toy's crying. "Oh man, I'm gonna fail health because of you," he moaned, then got an idea. "Your mom's a baby expert. Er, I mean, Kuki is a baby expert. Let's get her." Wally (for some odd reason) had Kuki's schedule memorized and carried the baby to the science classroom.

Ms. Sepson was easily the youngest teacher at the school, and also Wally's favorite do to her easy going personality (and plus, he was passing her class).

"Hey Ms. S," Wally yelled over the baby's screams.

"Why Wally, what a pleasure. I don't have you until 5th hour," she pointed to the baby. "I bet you need your partner from health class."

"Yeah."

"Alright, that's fine. Kuki! You're needed."

Wally looked at the teacher strangely. 'How did she know Kuki was my partner?' he dismissed the thought. Mrs. Heath had probably told her about it in the teacher's lounge or something.

Kuki glared at Wally, then grabbed her 'daughter' and rocked her. Instant quiet descended on the classroom.

The two walked into the hallway. Kuki jumped on Wally's case immediatly. "What is this? You can't take care of her for even one hour? Men."

"It wasn't my fault!"

"Of course it was your fault. I guess I'll take care of her." And with that, Kuki reentered her classroom with the sleeping Rainy.

Fourth hour came, which meant, you guessed it, health class. Wally and Kuki sat near eachother, Kuki cradling Rainy.

"Alright class," Mrs. Heath addressed the pupils. "As you know, yesterday you were given your child. Now I will assign you and your partner each jobs."

Every student was handed a scrap of paper with their new career written on it. Wally and Kuki opened their's at the same time.

"I'm a what?" Wally looked at the paper strangely. "This can't be right!"

"Well, I'm a computer software designer. And you're . . ." She laughed uncontrollably when she saw the paper. "Rainy, you'll never guess what daddy does. Daddy's a florist!"


	5. floral hell

**AN: Hey y'all! Hope you like this chapter. Um, I hope it doesn't offend anyone.**

"Now then class, I want you to interview someone who actually does whichever job you have been assigned. They will have you work for them after school."

"Do we at least get paid?" Wally asked angrily. He really didn't want to spend his time in a room full of flowers.

"You get paid in the joy of education," Mrs. Heath drowned. "Now then, class, I already have a list of names you can choose from to interview. Next to their business name you'll find the address. Have fun!"

Kuki ran to check who she was to interview. Wally dragged his feet; thinking angry thoughts that would be inappropriate to say (use your imaginations, people!).

"Okay, after school I'm going to Fred's Electronics. Where are you going?" Kuki asked.

Wally read the name. "Tick and Tock's Flower Power Utopia. Sounds pretty gay to me."

"I think it sounds like a beautiful place. Take Rainy with you!"

School ended and Wally rode the city bus downtown into the ritziest business neighborhood around.

He entered the flower shop and groaned. It was his worst nightmare. Flowers grew everywhere.

A balding man with a flair for fashion popped out of a pile of fuchsia flowers. "You must be my new apprentice. I'm Tick." He held out his hand to be shaken.

Wally looked at it like it was covered in something smelly, then grabbed it loosely. "I'm Wally."

"Tock, get out here! Our guest has arrived!"

A white man with bleached blonde hair came in through a back door and grinned, exposing perfectly straight white teeth. "Welcome to our humble shop." He gestured around himself.

There was something about these two that wasn't right, Wally realized. They were standing too close to each other. They kept shooting each other love sick eyes.

'Oh holy flaming crud!' Wally panicked.

"We hope you enjoy your time with us," The one known as Tock said eagerly.

Wally backed away towards the door. "I, er, got to go. I, um, left a ,er, food in the oven."

"You can't just leave yet!" Tick looked shocked. "Isn't the shop up to your liking?"

"Um, look. It's not that I have anything against, er, flowers or anything. I just . . . don't like flowers." Wally said lamely. Not only did these two freak him out, but he was beginning to suffocate under the deep aroma of flower hell.

"How can you not like flowers?" Tock asked.

"Um, they're, um, too girly." Wally said then regretted it. 'You don't tell gay people about being girly!'

"Oh really? Do you think being pricked by a thorn is girly? Hmm?" Tick seemed angry.

"Now Tick, you can't expect a mere child to understand flowers," Tock reasoned.

"You're right." Tick said dejectedly. "But he can't leave just yet. Not with all the work we need done."

"Work?" Wally backed farther away than before.

"But of course. You have to do something or your health teacher will flunk you. Have you forgotten this is a school project? Having a job is just as important as caring for the baby you know."

"Baby? OH MY GOD! I LEFT RAINY ON THE BUS!" Wally shrieked. "Kuki's gonna kill me." He bolted out the door as fast as his legs could carry him.

**AN: Uh oh! Is Rainy lost forever? What's Kuki gonna do to Wally when she finds out that her 'daughter' is lost? What is the real story behind Tick and Tock? Find out in the next chapter!**


	6. dumpster diving

**AN: Hi guys! I'm attempting to make longer chapters. Let me know how I'm doin'.**

**Okay, before I begin let me say how happy I am that y'all actually enjoy this little ficlet. It means alot when y'all review. It just gives me this tingly feeling inside. Let's get this started!**

Wally pounded his fist against the side of the bus in fury. Unfortunatly, this caused more damage to his hand than to the vehicle. The Australian yelped out in pain and screamed several four letter words that perhaps would shock and anger several of you, and because the author doesn't want this story to get pulled will remain un said. Use your imaginations.

"Look kid," The bus driver, a burly woman named Jo explained, "I clean the busses every night after rounds. Isn't that right, Bessy," She stared affectionetly at the bus and rubbed the front end. "Who's a good bus? Who?" her husky voice cooed.

The Aussie stared in discust at the woman before replying, "Well, when you cleaned them did you happen to find, oh say a doll?"

She shrugged. "Do I look like the kind of person who collects trash? Of course I don't remember what I threw away. Everything's in the dumpster now."

"Dumpster? Why don't you guys have a lost and found or something?" Numbuh 4 shrieked. "Where the crud is the dumpster?"

She pointed out the door. "Out there. The trash men should be here any minute."

He wasted no time in rushing out the door. Smell was practically oozing from the rusted metal trash storage unit. The boy who usually had no problem with dirt or anything discusting shuddered. "Am I really going to search through that thing for a doll?"

He gingerly pulled the lid off the dumpster. The smells overcame him, making him instantly sick to his stomach. He slammed the lid shut, but the smell refused to leave his nostrils. "Holy flaming crud! What have they been doing in this thing?" He gagged.

"Hey little dude, what's up?" the steriotypical surfer voice washed over the sick to the stomach boy. It was the garbage man , here to collect his 'tresure'. He had shoulder lenghth bleach blond hair and a pair of sunglasses. His faded blue t shirt had the words 'I'd rather be surfing' printed in bold black letters.

"Um, I was just . . ."

"Look man, it's totally against dumpster union codes to allow anyone to dumpster dive. I know, what a total pain. But if we let one dude dig though the trash, we gotta let everyone."

'Who'd want to search through this crud?' Numbuh 4 thought in discust. This was gross, even by his standards. "Well, I dropped something in and . . ."

"Sorry man, gotta dump it." Surfer dude removed the lid of the dumpster and hooked it to the truck and returned to the truck to dump it in. "Later," He shouted over his shoulder.

Wally knew what he had to do. He took what may be his last breath of clean air and literally dove into the dumpster. "I can find the cruddy doll before the trash gets dumped," He reasoned. A horrid taste filled his mouth. It was a mixture of rotten milk, stick deoderant, decomposing deli meat, and other unidentifiable, unedible flavors. His eyes watered behind his blond hair, which was covered in chunky, as Numbuh 4 would say, crud. He dug through the trash even though his stomach was doing cartwheels. The trash dug under his fingernails. He couldn't find the doll anywhere. But he couldn't quit. Numbuh 3 would hate him forever if the baby was lost.

His heart stopped as he heard the rumbling of the engine starting. "No! Forget the cruddy doll. I gotta get outta here!" The sides of the dumpster were so coated in trash that it was too slippery to climb out. He watched in horror as the world turned upside down and he was buried in garbage horror.

The world turned black.

As Numbuh 4 was buried alive, Numbuh 3 was having her own problems. "Now can you see how important our job is?" The 40 something year old nerd asked in a nazally voice.

"Oh yeah. Fascinating." She drummed her fingers against the counter. Computers did nothing for her. Sure she loved the internet. Chat rooms rocked! She just didn't care how it was made, who made it, or about the racism nerds were dealt every day for their involvment in it.

She yawned and glanced at the clock. Seven o' clock. She promised Wally she'd take Rainy off his hands once they got to the treehouse. And she was supposed to meet him their half an hour ago.

"Serves him right though. He needs to take care of our kid too." She said out loud, forgetting where she was.

"Kid?" The nerd seemed interested.

"Oh. Well you see, my partner Wally . . ."

"He doesn't want to take responsibility, right?" The nerd pushed the glasses over his nose.

"Right! I mean, we both need to take care of Rainy. She's just as much his daughter as she is mine."

"You go girl!" He smiled. "You seem pretty young to be a mother. How old are you, nineteen? Twenty? You know, we could go to the cyber cafe . . ."

"I'm only ten!"

"Oh." He shrugged. "I don't mind." He smiled suggestively.

"Ew, pervert! I know about you people from Oprah. Don't think you can fool me," She glared and stormed out of the shop in a huff.

In fact, she was in so much of a hurry that she didn't realize the danger she was in until she felt the clammy hands rap around her mouth, preventing her from yelling for help.

**AN: I'm so evil! Leaving you in a cliffy like that. Muhaha! Seriously though, how was it? Didja like it? Huh? Huh?**

**About that garbage guy, maybe he's more of a hippie than a surfer but oh well. It's the best I've got.**

**Shutting up now. Lil Cosmo is outta here!**


	7. The kidnapping

**AN: Yes! Updatedness! I knew I had to update because I like had this dream where Numbuh 4 was all thrown into a dumpster and he all ate this disgusting lasagna and he puked. It was a totally disgusting, graphic dream that just spoke to me! It said, "Lil Cosmo, get your sorry butt on that computer or this dream will become a reality." So, here's the next chapter!**

"Hey! This isn't cool!" Kuki fought against the restraints that cut into her wrists. No use, she wasn't going anywhere.

The feminine voice laughed. "Do you think I care what's 'cool'? Kids can be so dumb sometimes. Actually, all the time!" Her laughter irritated Kuki to no end.

"That's not true! I'm not dumb! You're the dumb one, you big . . . dummy head." She was fresh out of insults.

"Ouch." The woman was conveniently hidden in the shadows so the seventh grader couldn't see her. "Don't worry, your daughter will be raised the right way." She stuck just an arm out, holding the baby doll.

"RAINY! Put her down, you jerk!" Kuki struggled fiercely.

"Relax. Like I said, I'll raise her right. Teach her the way, if you will. The adult way!" She cackled with glee. "Anyways, it was your stupid partner who gave me the doll in the first place," She added, eager to hear her reaction.

"Wally?" She asked.

"No, the other partner. OF COURSE, YOU IDIOT!"

"But he would never . . ."

"But he did!" She said in a sing song voice. "He said to me, 'Keep this cruddy doll.' So I did."

"Liar!" Kuki shouted. She knew Wally didn't care about Rainy, but he cared about his GPA.

"Well, he might as well have. Just leaving it on the bus like he did. I just . . . intervened."

"He wouldn't leave her on the bus!"

"Believe what you want, but I'm telling the truth."

"Who are you?" Kuki asked.

The woman stepped out of the shadows. She was a younger woman, in her twenties. Medium height, light brown hair. She was . . .

Now, I can't tell you that right now, can I? That would give away the mystery.

Wally, oblivious to the mystery villain, came to on a garbage brig. Adding to his misery, it was in the middle of the ocean, which, for him, meant no escape.

Wally kicked a half eaten bologna sandwich into the water and watched it bob up and down. "Now what?"

He could call the others for help . . . "After I find the cruddy doll," He reasoned with himself. After all, how embarrassing would it be for the others to find out he had been in a trash can for no apparent reason?

Plus, Numbuh 3 would totally murderize him. And he couldn't have that.

Two hours of trash digging and choice words later, Wally was no closer to finding Rainy or getting off the garbage hell. He had no choice but to call the others. Unfortunately, it was late. The sun had set long ago and he guessed it was around midnight.

"Pick up," He moaned as he dialed the phone.

"Hello?" It was Numbuh 5, groggy.

"Numbuh 5, its me, Numbuh 4. I need . . ."

"Call back later, Numbuh 4. It's too late."

"No wait!" The dial tone answered him.

Wally tossed his phone to the ground in anger and before he could grab it, it slid on the trash and into the water.

"No! NO!" He shrieked, his voice becoming increasingly higher. He watched as the black cell phone, his only means of escape, sunk deeper and deeper into the pitch black water.

**AN: Uh oh! What's gonna happen now? Who's the mystery woman? I know, but you guys don't so tune in next time!**


	8. Stapled bellies and drunken odors

AN: Guess who be updating, guys? Like anyone actually cares . . . but I should probably finish the fics I got. Then I can submit: NEW CRAP! Yay! Oh, here's something weird for you. Last time i updated, my pen name was Lil Cosmo still, and that was like last fricking year!

The fumes of the dump had a slight intoxicating affect on the young boy. "Whoa," He giggled (not the most masculine thing for a guy to do, but no one was watching). "I'm so gonna . . . tee hee . . . die! Ha ha . . . I'll probably starve or even . . . hee . . . drown! Too bad I can't . . . hahaha . . . swim back to shore."

He collapsed into a pile of compost, by this time immune to the putrid aroma, though he smelled enough to make a skunk gag. "Maybe I could make a . . . tee hee . . . boat out of banana peals."

Luckily, he was the genius of the KND or he might be in trouble.

Hold up . . . Numbuh 4's GPA is dipping into the negatives.

Well then, my friends, what we have here is a royally screwed Australian, I tell you what.

"I'm royally screwed!" muttered Numbuh 4.

To make matters worse, the skyline seemed to be bobbing up and down. He squinted from behind his bangs, watching the black shape aproach.

"Oh crud! It's the . . . hee hee . . . lock ness monster! All the way from Scotlandburg, Ohio!" He broke into hysterical laughter, sick in his stomach from fear. He stood quickly before falling head over feet into the black waters of the ocean.

Meanwhile, on the less smelly edge of town.

"I can't believe a villian could be so . . ." Kuki began.

"What? I'm so what?" She crossed her arms over her bright red spandex body suit.

"OLD!"

"What did you call me?" Her voice dropped to a deadly whisper.

"You heard me Grandma. And you should really consider Slim Fast if you're going to dress in that . . . what is that? Red garbage bags? Lady, you have no fashion sense."

"You should talk Ms . . . Ms. Rainbow Monkey . . . freakoid! Besides, my stylists says I look ravishing and he would know!"

"He must be blind."

"Shut up!" she walked circles around the ensnared child. "I've been watching you, Kuki Sanban. You and that little boyfriend of yours. And I'm tired of the way you flaunt your love. It makes me sick to my stomach that you," She thrust a bright red manicured fingernail under Kuki's nose, "Can get a guy, when I get diddly squat. Not even so much as a date!" Her bottom lip quivered. "What's wrong with me?" She sobbed, raccoon circles of mascara running down her face. "Am I that revolting?"

"Oh, there there . . ." Kuki cooed, being the sweety she was. "I'm sure it's not that bad."

"Yes it is! when I was in school, I was the fat girl. I didn't even have any FRIENDS, let alone a boyfriend. For the prom, I stayed at home and gorged on Chunky Monkey icecream and watched old silent movies."

"Oh, you poor thing!" Kuki cryed.

"Spare your sympathy. When my father died, I was left with an inheritance. Now look at me! Nine stomach stables and boob inplants later, I'm finally hot. And I still don't have a date. But don't worry, I have a plan." She waited expectantly. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Aren't you gonna ask what my plan is?"

"No. I don't honestly care, actually."

"Fine then! I'll tell you. No more skinny girls . . . except me, of course . . . will get dates."

"What? that's insane!"

"Is it? With all the other girls gone, that'll just leave me and a bunch of Fatties! And who do you think those guys are gonna choose? Me or lardbutt?" She laughed demonically. "And I'll start with you."

"What are you gonna do?" Kuki became slightly fearful. This woman was insane!

The woman grinned, revealing lipstick on her teeth. She wheeled out a machine which looked like a cannon, only clear. Inside resided a strange green liquid. "I call it Operation: Sleeping Beauty." She ran her fingers across the smooth glass. "It'll put you into an eternal sleep, unless of course you get kissed by true love or whatever, which isn't gonna happen because you'll appear dead to the outside world, of natural causes I might add, and you'll be buried under ground! And worm kisses don't count I might add." her laughter chilled to the marrow, or maybe someone just flipped an air conditioner switch. Whatever the case, Kuki shivered as the thing came closer to her, whiring. She tried to turn her head, but it was no use. The sickly liquid was emited in her house and she felt tired, so tired, and she felt as if she were falling straight through the floor with no one to catch her.

Then it was just dark.


End file.
